This week on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, we are heading back to the pink confection of a hotel. How will no people skills Meredith deal with Angie when she shows up on her trip? Let’s dive in, shall we?
We are back at the Trixie Motel, and Ms. Marks is not too happy with Whitney and her bad etiquette. Meredith cannot believe that Whitney would not consult the host before she assumed she could bring a plus one on the trip. Angie should really rethink those sunglasses since they take up her whole face and look like she is wearing a pink nasal guard. She could probably hide out from Meredith on the entire trip by wearing these. Monica, who is a newbie, can clearly see that having Angie there is a big no-no and is smart enough to recognize she might need to change teams. Heather thinks this motel screams drag queen, and it takes one to know one! Just kidding!
Mary is sharing a room with Heather, and this could not be more random. Does Mary even know where she is and who she is traveling with? Mary is none too thrilled to have Heather with her loud voice taking up her personal space. Meredith finds out that Whitney and Angie have already made their room selections, and she tries to act like this does not defrost her stone-cold exterior. Lisa just walks around oblivious to Mer’s agitation and cannot wait to tell Trixie that she lost her $60k ring. Trixie plays that obnoxious revelation off like a pro and moves things along before Lisa can continue her monologue of narcissism.
Angie tries to get Mary to come and sit with them by the pool, and Mary tells her to stop ordering her around. Mary then shadily asks Whitney, “Why did you come early?” She thinks it is childish that they came to poke Mer-bear. Mary does not want to engage with Angie and is clearly Team Meredith. Meredith thankfully changes her clothes from that awful ill-fitting outfit that gives her pancake a*s. She does not give a gift to Angie, but in her defense, she was not supposed to be there. Angie is pissed that her buddy Monica is getting involved when Meredith disses her. Monica does not think her anger should be directed at her. She thinks Angie needs to take it up with the hostess.
Mary and Monica are paired up to shop for some reason. She seems to be tolerating Monica but is clearly not interested in her style choices. Mary does make a good suggestion for Monica to wear, which is rather flattering on her. Does it seem to you all that Mary is almost wandering through filming scenes like production literally dropped her in with no lead-up?
Meredith has Heather, Whitney, Angie, and Lisa with her to shop. She has chosen a rather odd clothing choice for Lisa with the belly dance skirt with coins dangling from it. Lisa finally concludes she might really hate her. Mer thinks she is reestablishing trust by letting the women pick each other’s outfits. She looks like a yellow goddess with what she is wearing. Heather thinks this is an opportunity to get Mer out of her stuffy suits and exact revenge on Lisa. Whitney looks ridiculous in the dress with the white lab coat and the royal family hat. Angie comes out in a Grecian dress, which she picks out for herself since she had no partner on this shopping trip.
Meredith says the restaurant is rather chic, and Lisa looks terrified. Lisa cannot believe that she was given basically a bathing suit to wear in a five-star restaurant. She ties a white shirt around herself, which draws more attention to her lack of clothing. Lisa thinks she is trapped in The Shining movie with the twins ready to say, “Red Rum.” Whitney has succeeded in showing how she truly feels by dressing Heather as a break dancer from the ’80s. She also tops it off with a cat mom trucker hat, and this could be the worst outfit of the night.
Meredith toasts to a fun trip. The ladies all shared something about themselves. Mary talks about the African grey bird that liked to stare at her. She lets them know she is a loner — NO DUH. Monica thinks the ladies at the senior center were more interesting. She then spills that she f*cked her brother-in-law for 18 months. Monica is way too thirsty and eager to perform, and she comes across as desperate IMO. Meredith draws the line at in-laws but is happy to f*ck half of New York.
We then begin with a game, but it is just an opportunity to get someone’s guard down with a compliment and then toss a nasty boomerang and slam them in the face. Heather tells Angie her “cold and prickly” is that she is untrustworthy. She thinks that she was all over Jen and has now inserted herself into Lisa’s a*s. Heather was all over Jen too, and I am not clear why this does not make HER untrustworthy as well. She has concluded that Angie likes to such the biggest d*ck in the room, and honestly, what is wrong with that? Just asking for a friend. Meredith lets Whitney know she needs to work on her communication skills and remove her baby trill from her tone. Mary interjects and calls bullsh*t on this, and she tells Mer to be honest about her true feelings about Whitney bringing Angie on this trip.
Monica tells Lisa her prickly is listening to Lisa whine about losing her $60k ring. She is annoyed that she struggles financially and cannot relate to that wealth. Monica reached into a tampon disposal box looking for Lisa’s ring. This was a veiled attempt clearly created by production pretending to be a game. Angie then wants to make a fun dinner toast, and I can see in her eyes that she is channeling Medusa trying to turn Mer into stone. Can’t she see that Meredith is almost there already? Angie wants to have a word of the day. She uses the Greek word meaning “fake,” and she gives Meredith the title of the Queen of Fakery. Angie talks about Mer’s dusty jewelry and questionable business acumen. Meredith reminds Angie that she said she would never be friends with her, but production does not roll any tape on this. Monica lamely intervenes, and I just want her to cool her new Housewife jets.
Meredith, who somehow is channeling a British aristocrat, shouts at Angie, “You can LEAVE!” Mer bear has been officially poked by the Greek goddess. Angie refuses to leave her seat, and Mer grabs an innocent waiter to play security and remove Angie. This poor guy probably hid in the kitchen all night from this shrill group of ladies. Meredith then starts babbling on about disabled children in what could be called a martini break from reality. Mary realizes that Meredith should have skipped that last martini since she recognizes she is not making sense.
Meredith leaves the table in tears, and Lisa chases after her. She tries to get Meredith to see this nonsense as mean girl sh*t and just ignore it. Meredith then comes out with the WINNER of the night with, “Let’s talk about Angie’s husband!” I propelled myself off of my recliner reminiscent of the time Kim Richards said this. I was raising my hand like an idiot and said PLEASE DO!
Lisa sees that Meredith’s treatment of Angie resembles what Mer used to do to her. They thankfully put a cork into this sour bottle of wine and get out of this place. Heather needs to be carried to the van and is trashed. Mary goes all in on Whitney and wants her to know that she sees her for who she is. Whitney is sick of Meredith using extraneous things to draw attention away from her behavior. Mary wants to get to the bottom of why Whitney called her “pornography,” and Heather the wordsmith burps out she said a predator.
The van arrives back at the motel, and the van is cleared except for Heather and Whitney. Heather has fluids pouring out of her orifices. Whit gets sympathy vomit and bangs on the van door while Heather has her head up her a*s. This dinner was such a disaster, and it is clear that this group can move on without Jen Shah and still make good TV. Be well, Blurbers, and see you next week!
TELL US — THOUGHTS ON THIS RHOSLC EPISODE?