House of the DragonCriston Cole is not an all-time Westeros villain because it has no redeemable qualities. He wasn't born a total monster like Joffrey Baratheon. Criston Cole is a worse monster because he chooses to be. The Lord Commander and new Hand of the King could easily be a good, noble knight if he didn't like violating his oaths and responsibilities any more than Tyrion likes brothels. And we saw how true this is during the third episode of the second season. His situational awareness saved the life of the arrogant Gwayne Hightower. Cole's quick actions provided a brief, and really unwelcome, reminder that he really is good at some things. Fortunately, the episode also gave us a new reason to loathe him. It took away the one unquestionable positive that even a hater like me would never deny someone as awful as Ser Criston Cole: his amazing hair.
Ser Criston Cole might be a vile, evil, amoral, coward who soiled his white Kingsguard cloak with every breath he took, but at least he always did it with incredible hair. Her flowing dark locks belied the ugly darkness that lurked in the empty space where her heart should be. But at least he had the thin shadow of decency to look good while being so bad.
We know he's a disgusting pig, but his hair was that of a brave and heroic knight they write stories about, the kind Sansa grew up loving. Ser Criston Cole had the hair of a leader.
now House of the Dragon he's taken that off and given him a stupid little boy haircut. It looks like he asked a regular kid… from an apprentice barber… on the first day… when the barber wasn't even around… and the scissors were broken and he only had one dead knife.
Why did you feel you needed a haircut in the first place? Why cut glorious hair voluntarily? Did he think that the good hair was somehow revealing his “humble beginnings?” Did he think he was unfit for the Hand of the King or for war? Who cares why it was cut?! He is a big fool who doesn't think before he acts. He just sent Ser Arryk to his death with a plan too silly for Mr. Bean. Criston Cole never needs a good reason to do something bad and this haircut is no different.
Normally, Criston Cole doing something indefensible would anger his biggest haters (:raises both hands and feet:). Instead, this is the best development of the season and perhaps the series so far.
Losing her luscious locks is the best thing she's ever done. We no longer have to give it up to Ser Criston Cole for anything. We don't have to admit that there is a single thing about him that is worthwhile because he cut it. We are free to fully enjoy, without guilt or disgust, pure hatred.
Her beautiful hair is gone. long Long live his stupid little haircut.
It's not short because we want her hair to grow back, which we would do with any other character. Short because we hope he never gets the chance. Hopefully his next haircut doesn't come with a pair of scissors grabbed by a barber who lost his glass and was drinking all day. Let's hope Criston Cole's next hairstyle comes through a dragon's flame.
Mikey Walsh is a writer for Nerdist, a huge hair appreciator, and the world's number one Criston Cole hater. You can follow it Twitter i Bluesky at @burgermike. And also anywhere someone is ranking the Targaryen kings.
