In the annals of football, some players carve their names with sheer brilliance, others with a story that transcends the pitch. Josip Ilicic is one such enigma – a maestro whose peak was as dazzling as his decline was heartbreaking. At 37, playing a quieter role in Slovenia, he casts a reflective gaze upon a career marked by sublime talent, unwavering loyalty, and a silent, profound battle that nearly extinguished his flame.
From Bosnian Streets to Sicilian Dreams
Born in Bosnia, Josip`s earliest memories are rooted in Slovenia, shaped by the absence of a father who passed when he was just a toddler. Raised by his mother and brother, football became his solace and his school. “My moves, my left foot, were born on the streets,” he recounts, a testament to raw, untamed talent. His journey into professional football was almost poetic in its serendipity. A call from the director of Maribor, a cryptic message of a sale, and the whisper of Napoli eventually led him to Palermo, Italy – a land where his unique artistry first bloomed.
At Palermo, Ilicic found an unlikely guardian in President Zamparini, a figure known for his mercurial nature but also for his deep affection for players who dared to be different. Josip, much like Pastore and Miccoli, was one of them. He thrived, showcasing a melancholy elegance that Sabatini, a respected sporting director, once aptly described as his “biological sadness.” Yet, beneath this seemingly languid exterior, burned a fierce competitive fire. “The more you hammer me, the more you insult me, the stronger I become,” he asserts, a principle he instilled in his own daughters.
The Fiorentina Conundrum: A Love-Hate Affair
His time in Florence with Fiorentina proved to be a complex chapter. Despite twice finishing as the team`s top scorer and assist-maker over four years, Ilicic felt an undercurrent of criticism, often tied to his transfer fee. “Was I really that bad?” he muses, reflecting on a period where the team achieved a fourth-place finish and an Europa League semi-final, yet it never seemed quite enough for some sections of the fanbase. “I`m done with the Florentines,” he states candidly, a rare glimpse into a wound that, despite the passage of time, hasn`t fully healed. Yet, the city holds a peculiar affection; his family still visits their home there.
Atalanta: The Apex of a “Magical” Era
The true metamorphosis, however, occurred at Atalanta. It was a move almost thwarted, with Ilicic leaning towards Sampdoria. But a direct call from Gian Piero Gasperini changed everything. “Come play for me?” the coach asked, a simple question that would unlock a golden era. Gasperini`s training regime was notoriously brutal – Ilicic recalls “vomiting between sessions” and legs “pulsating” so intensely that sleep became a luxury. Yet, this grueling preparation forged a team of unparalleled endurance. “We lasted 90 minutes, others were cooked by 60,” he states, a matter of fact. It was a love-hate relationship, he admits, but “when one loves, they fight.”
Under Gasperini, Atalanta became the darling of European football, an attacking juggernaut rewriting history. With Ilicic, Papu Gomez, Muriel, and Pasalic, the attack was so fluid, they could play “with eyes closed.” Victories like 5-0 against AC Milan and Parma, and a stunning 2-goal performance at Anfield, became benchmarks. Tottenham`s Fabio Paratici even remarked they had a “Scudetto attack.” The only missing piece? A trophy. The 2019 Coppa Italia final loss, marred by a controversial handball, still stings, remembered as the “worst” of his four lost finals.
The Valencia Pinnacle and The Descent into Darkness
Then came Valencia. March 10, 2020. The night Ilicic scored four goals in a Champions League knockout game, a performance so breathtaking it cemented his legendary status and propelled Atalanta into the quarter-finals. It was the “most beautiful night” of his life, a peak of form that, he believes, would have taken them to the Champions League final had fate not intervened. “We weren`t afraid of anyone,” he recalls, the team radiating an unshakeable belief. Atalanta, in that moment, “changed the history of football.”
But as the final whistle blew in Valencia, the world was already beginning to “turn off the light.” The COVID-19 pandemic descended, hitting Bergamo, Atalanta`s home city, with unprecedented ferocity. What followed for Ilicic was a period of profound isolation and mental anguish. He spent 42 days alone in Bergamo, separated from his family. “I suffered,” he admits, revealing that money and contracts became meaningless. He declined lucrative offers to tell the full story of his depression, choosing to keep the intimate details of his struggle private.
During this vulnerable time, cruel rumors about his wife`s infidelity spread like wildfire. “Nothing could be further from the truth,” he declares, his voice filled with pain over the “incredible insults” she endured. He chose not to publicly deny them, understanding that such a denial would inevitably lead to questions about his own deteriorating mental state. The truth, he knew, was understood by his closest family and teammates. The contrast with his homeland was stark: in Slovenia, COVID felt almost non-existent; in Bergamo, military trucks carried coffins, an image that haunted him, compounded by the earlier tragedy of his former teammate Davide Astori`s sudden death.
Gasperini: The Unwavering Mentor
Through it all, Gian Piero Gasperini remained a constant, powerful force. Gasperini`s own emotional reflections on Ilicic`s plight speak volumes about their bond. Ilicic recalls a time in 2018 when he was hospitalized with an infection, fearing he might not wake up. A week later, Gasperini, with his characteristic intensity, told him, “Josip, get up, we have to play.” Even at Valencia, after his third goal, Ilicic, exhausted, asked for a substitution. Gasperini ignored him, and Ilicic scored his fourth. “He pushed me beyond the limits I thought I had,” Ilicic affirms, a grateful recognition of a coach who saw not just a player, but a human being capable of extraordinary things. Gasperini even suggested Ilicic was Ballon d`Or material in 2020 – a poignant thought of what might have been.
The Long Goodbye and Enduring Love
The physical toll of Gasperini`s methods, coupled with his personal struggles, eventually caught up. Tendon issues, exacerbated by weight fluctuations, made it impossible to maintain the relentless pace. He turned down offers from giants like Napoli (even speaking with Ancelotti) and AC Milan, choosing to remain a “protagonist in Bergamo” rather than “one of many” elsewhere. Ultimately, even a two-and-a-half-year contract offer from Sevilla was declined; he simply couldn`t endure the demands. His return to Maribor and then Koper in Slovenia marked a quieter, more personal homecoming.
Leaving Atalanta was bittersweet. Sadness mixed with the happiness of returning home after 12 years. Yet, the love from Bergamo endures. He was deeply moved when Atalanta fans traveled to Maribor to see him in 2023. At an Atalanta-Real Madrid match in 2024, fans still chanted his name. Luka Modric himself noted, “You weren`t playing, but the whole stadium was for you.” He remains connected with that “crazy” group of players, scattered across the world, and was genuinely happy to see Atalanta finally lift a trophy, the Europa League in 2024. “We did crazy, truly crazy things,” he concludes, a mix of pride, nostalgia, and a touch of melancholy.
Josip Ilicic`s story is a powerful reminder that behind the dazzling feats on the football pitch lies a human being, susceptible to the same vulnerabilities as anyone else. His journey is a narrative of extraordinary talent meeting profound personal challenge, a testament to resilience, and a love affair with a club and its fans that time and distance cannot diminish. He may have considered himself a ghost at times, but to those who witnessed his magic, he remains an unforgettable maestro.
Murray Blackwood