‘Love Is Blind’s Clay’s Generational Trauma Ruined His Confidence in Marriage

The Big Picture

• Clay faces generational trauma from his parents’ marriage infidelity.
• Clay struggles with readiness for marriage, leading to an emotional decision at the altar.
• Family addresses generational trauma, highlighting the impact of past experiences on relationships.

Season 6 started with Clay Gravesande boastful about his accolades and saying he couldn’t propose without knowing what the woman in the Love Is Blind pod looked like first. But he fell for Amber Desiree or “A.D.” and proposed to her. He has repeatedly credited AD for pushing him to be a better man. However, the Netflix reality series regularly shows that many factors could come between couples.

Clay started out saying he was ready for marriage, but it seemed like his engagement triggered bad memories about his parents’ marriage. He witnessed his father being unfaithful to his mother, and feels guilt over the pain it caused his mom. Clay was worried he’ll let down A.D. the same way his father did with his mother. The finale showed a family coming together to address their generational trauma.

Do Clay and A.D. Get Married on ‘Love Is Blind?’

Clay was open about how his parent’s marriage affected him. His father cheated on his mother and even took him on trips where he cheated. This was a secret he previously kept and acknowledged his mother didn’t know how privy he was to his dad’s affairs. That marriage lasted longer than 20 years and then ended in divorce. Clay told A.D. his father is a “suave Guyanese man” who might even flirt with her when they meet. It’s also obvious that Clay tries to reconcile his father’s part in tearing apart his family and his fatherhood. Clay makes sure to say his dad is a good father. The entrepreneur was let down by his father and had a fear of doing the same.

Clay and A.D.’s wedding day was clouded by Clay’s generational trauma. The experiment seemed to force Clay to look hard at his past for the first time. He questioned if he was ready to marry A.D. In episode 12, “Where Are They Now”, they go to the altar in front of their family. “I became such a better man through this whole process, and I wanna thank you for your patience ’cause Lord knows, I’m a lot to handle, a lot to deal with,” Clay told her. However, Clay asked for more patience from A.D. He didn’t say “I do” at the altar.

“I don’t think it’s responsible to say I do,” he told her. “But I want you to know that I’m rockin’ with you and I just don’t think it’s responsible for me to say I do at this point when I still need work. I still need to get to the point where I’m 100% in, and I’m not gonna have you over here thinking that this is not gonna work. I’mma put the work in for you.” Their day doesn’t stop there. The audience sees Clay’s father, Trevor, for the first time and his family addresses their generational trauma after Clay’s decision.

Clay’s Father Is Forced to Admit HIs Fault

Clay and his dad talk before he goes to the altar. You can feel the weight of what’s not being said between them. Trevor helps put Clay’s jacket on for him. Clay also wears his dad’s watch for the big moment. The track star talked a lot about his accolades in the pods. We see that he got this from his dad, who is also an All-American track star, and he recounts the day Clay became a faster runner than him. Trevor said he lived vicariously through Clay when it came to his accomplishments. Trevor makes it clear that his father wasn’t present.

Trevor then seemed to allude to his infidelity. “When it comes to right and wrong, it doesn’t matter,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if everybody else is, like, in your ear telling you, ‘Do this, do that.’ You gotta trust yourself.” That might be good advice, but it doesn’t explain to Clay what he saw growing up and why his dad made those mistakes. However, this was a big step for them. “In terms of words, that was the most he poured in me my whole life,” Clay said in an interview. “I wanna know, ‘Were you in love the whole time?'” the businessman added. “I’ve seen him from a different perspective, and there’s a gray area when it comes to marriage, and I’m just so big on that gray area and I just don’t hear too many men articulate that gray area.” We don’t see them talk about this, so there is a lot more conversation to be had.

Clay Hopes to Work Things Out With AD

Clay’s mother, Margarita, talks to Trevor after their son rejects A.D. “All of those emotions and twisted and feelings, he took that to the altar,” she explained to her ex-husband. “And a lot of that stems from things that you have to explain and then apologize. Don’t make excuses, just apologize. So that closure can be had.” This is big because Clay has noted that his parents’ generation isn’t used to the concept of parents apologizing to their children. However, it can do wonders for their children to move forward and better their relationship with their parents. Margarita reveals Clay told her that he saw his father cheat for the first time.

“Kids, when they grow up, and they see things, it’s like, ‘Is marriage for real?'” she explained. “Or is marriage something that you get into, and you lie, and you deceive?” Trevor’s response is familiar to children who have tried to have hard conversations about how their parents raised them. He talks about how he had less from his father growing up. That may be true, but it’s still important to own up to any shortcomings as a parent to help heal children.

Margarita even takes up space in this situation by telling Trevor she was hurt to find out what Clay had seen. That is an important part of healing. Clay said he was a momma’s boy growing up before walking his mom to her seat. That gives more weight to his father’s actions and could also make him feel guilty about keeping that secret for years. His mother’s healing with more information could help him move forward.

“Although we came from broken families, that doesn’t mean that we have to pass on that brokenness to our kids,” she told Trevor. Fans have said online that Clay acted like cheating is hereditary. However, Margarita explained how it could be. “Your past and things that you witness, it’s part of your DNA,” she said, “It’s part of your inside. And if you don’t get freakin’ help, you bring that sh-t into the next thing.”

Clay seemed determined to get help. He talks to A.D. after that intense altar moment. He tells her that he plans to get therapy, so he is ready to be her husband. Clay makes it clear that he wasn’t rejecting her, but he was struggling the whole engagement. He said he was not ready to grow with her. But he has more to go. A.D. said she wouldn’t date Clay if he said no at the altar. Clay seemed to regret his decision because of this and said he felt stupid.

While fans didn’t get a marriage out of it, viewers got something more special that we hadn’t seen in the previous five seasons of Love Is Blind. We saw a family address their generational trauma after realizing how much it affected Clay.

Love is Blind 6 airs new episodes on Wednesdays on Netflix. Watch on Netflix