The Big Picture
- The episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City had terrible drag, fights, and Mary hating everything except McDonalds.
- Lisa Barlow’s problem with doing her own makeup for a drag competition was so serious that the producers had to get involved.
- The rift between Lisa and Monica, along with Meredith and Angie, has caused battles between the upper class and upper middle class. Who will be the winner?
Last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City gave fans everything they could ask for: terrible drag, more fights, and Mary Cosby hating everything about everything. Except for McDonald’s, anyway. The maligned girl’s trip continued with Whitney Rose deciding to take matters into her own hands and planning her own activity with her very close and personal friend, Trixie Mattel. The drag competition idea and concept was a devastating one for Lisa Barlow, who was horrified by the idea of doing her own makeup, much less drag makeup. In fact, the problem was so serious that the producers had to be brought in. Why so serious, you ask? Because she spends $60,000 (there’s that number again) on glam each year. Having to do her own makeup is borderline sacrilege.
In addition to the makeup debacle, the differences between Lisa’s first-world problems and Monica Garcia’s first-world problems cause the rift between the two to grow even deeper. One can’t help but wonder how this battle between the upper class and the upper middle class will play out. Who will be the winner, Lisa or Monica? And furthermore, how will the winner be decided?
Speaking of battles built on delusion, it’s time to take a look at the battle royale between Meredith Marks and Angie K. Meredith, who is the queen of, “I know something you don’t know”, shared with Lisa that she knows something about Angie’s husband. What could this potential tea possibly be? Is he on the down low? Is he a masked vigilante? Whatever it may be, this week Angie learns about the back talk, and that means even more drama is on the way.
The Real Problems
It’s time for those of us who haven’t read Heather’s book to go and read Heather’s book because it is having dual effects on her personal life. On one hand, it’s given her even more prosperity financially. On the other, it’s negatively affecting her two daughters. She takes her daughters skiing on a school day to chat with them about what’s been going on in their school lives. Given that they live in a heavily Mormon community, they’ve unfortunately had to deal with negative and unwarranted attention from peers. It isn’t surprising, as the book is the antithesis of their beliefs and was written by someone who was expelled from the church. We then see a flashback moment of Heather discussing the vulgar notes and negative attention they’ve been receiving at school. After they finish skiing and sit down for hot cocoa, she asks them if they’re okay while acknowledging the responsibility she feels for bringing this into their lives in the first place. They both seem relatively unbothered, saying that this is all a reflection on their bullies and not on them. That shows that those girls are extremely well-adjusted and confident, which speaks volumes to Heather’s parenting. It’s clear she’s heavily involved in their lives, which, as we learned in a prior scene with Whitney and her husband, is extremely important.
The War of the Snowflakes
Now it’s time to get to the fake first-world problems: The War of the Snowflakes. There have been many battles in this early season war; the first few taking place in Palm Springs between Angie and Meredith, then Lisa and Monica. The latter battle is loudly addressed at Lisa’s party pretty early on. The fight between them was loud and screechy and was physically difficult to listen to, so thankfully it ended quickly enough. One thing about Monica, she will tell you whatever she says to your face, and that is an excellent trait for dramatic storytelling. The next battle, which is round two of Angie v. Meredith is just about to begin. Whitney pulls Monica aside to see if they should tell Angie about what Meredith said, and Monica fills her in on what the rumor is about. The rumor, which we guessed first, is that Angie’s husband Shawn has boyfriends on the side, and their marriage is a sham. Angie responds rather strongly and immediately stomps off to confront Meredith, and we’re just going to have to wait until next week to see what happens.
Additional Thoughts
- Lisa getting banned from a tanning salon for attempting to get a tan 30 minutes before closing is peak Lisa. They were cleaning up already. That tan was never going to happen.
- Whitney mentioning her childhood trauma is easy to empathize with. It’s always good to see people trying hard to be good parents to their kids.
- We are all Monica when it comes to desperately trying to make Mary be our friend.
- The audacity of Mary talking about Monica’s eating habits when we just saw her order a 6-piece McNugget, a Filet-O-Fish, and fries last week is peak Mary, and we love her for it.
- Mary being labeled as “Meredith’s Friend” is also hilarious. She needs no introduction or title. She is Mary Cosby. Period.
- The rumor. If it is true, just be open about it! It’s 2023 and being bisexual is normal. Yes, it’s Utah, but still! Be out and about.
- It isn’t a party until Whitney drunkenly spills some extremely personal tea.
