Frustrated singles are breaking up with dating apps.
Last year, Americans downloaded dating apps more than 36 million times, down 16% from 2020.
“The way people use dating apps today and the speed of communication. It's swipe, swipe, swipe, to date. Ghost, get frustrated, burn. Wash, rinse and repeat” , said dating coach Damona Hoffman, who is also the author of “F the Fairytale.”
Hoffman said a growing number of her clients are feeling what she calls “dating app burnout,” which is the stress and fatigue caused by endless swiping.
He said he sees too many “zombie dates.” It's a term he made up to describe the behavior he sees dating apps. He defines it as mindless drifting, seeking validation and meaningless connection, and talking to too many people.
“A lot of those DMs and texts, they don't go anywhere. So that's really leading to dating burnout because we get our hopes up. Our adrenaline rushes and then it's like withdrawal when the person doesn't materialize on a date.”
Hoffman met her husband online and knows firsthand how frustrating it can be, but said the goal is connection and users need to apply more empathy.
“We're feeling this sense of, I call it the communication crisis we're in, and you feel it even if you're not going out. You feel like 'everyone's talking but we're not saying anything.'
She suggests “dating hygiene,” which is being strategic with your time, weeding out hookups without going anywhere, and taking stock of your profile on dating apps by tracking reactions and responses.
“Which of the dates and conversations are actually turning into something real, so you're not putting all that energy into hookups that don't make you feel good first and foremost, and don't materialize into a relationship.”
Hoffman, who also hosts a podcast called “Dating and Mates,” advises talking to the person on the app for just one week before meeting in person.
“The whole point of dating apps is to meet in person, so what happens when you fall into the texting trap and stay on the app too long, you develop a false sense of intimacy “.
Hoffman said she wants to help people feel more in control of their dating destiny, and as a professional who has helped people find love for nearly 20 years, both online and offline, she's not according to the saying “you will find love when you least expect it.”
“When people approach dating consciously and strategically, they get results,” he said. “They get to the relationship.”
If you're sick of swiping, he suggests attending events, give it a try speed datinghire a matchmaker or participate in your community to make connections.
The CEO of Match Group, the company that owns Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge and Match.com, said late last year that they are “optimistic about the future” and that he expects to see the decline “moderate” of paid users.
