The Recluse Who Wrote the Most ‘Simpsons’ Episodes Ever

The Big Picture

• John Swartzwelder is an enigmatic and revered writer on
  The Simpsons
  , known for his unique and smart humor.
• Despite his elusive nature and legendary status, Swartzwelder embraced his privacy and dedicated legacy.
• Swartzwelder transitioned to writing novels after
  The Simpsons
  , creating comedic and convoluted stories.

The most famous writer of The Simpsons is obviously Conan O’Brien, but even if they are not known by name, plenty of writers have gone on to some infamy. Al Jean and Mike Riess went from The Simpsons to creating its cult classic cousin The Critic; Jim Reardon has become a regular writer on Disney movies, most notably his Oscar-nominated work on Wall-E; and Wallace Wolodarsky, in addition to a career writing movies, has made a number of appearances in Wes Anderson films particularly as Mr. Fox’s sidekick Kylie. But there is no writer more infamous than the author of 59 episodes, John Swartzwelder. Holding the record with a margin of 21 episodes, Swartzwelder’s prolific contribution to The Simpsons is only partly why there is so much notoriety about him. Mystery has been created around Swartzwelder, unlike any other television writer. Some people believe he didn’t even exist. But John Swartzwelder does exist (though this author can’t technically prove that), and his contributions to The Simpsons are legendary. So why all of the mystery?

The Mythology Around John Swartzwelder

For years, Swartzwelder has been an enigmatic figure but one with an incredibly high reputation. Simpsons writer Dan Greany, credited on the season 7 classic, “King Size Homer,” told the New York Times,” “John Swartzwelder is the best writer in the world today in any medium.” Matt Selman, the current co-showrunner of The Simpsons, wrote in a Time blog, “In the Simpsons rewrite room, the biggest compliment you can give to a joke is to call it ‘Swartzweldian,'” by which he meant, “something uniquely dumb and smart at the same time.” The reverence for Swartzwelder is not unearned, with writing credits on famous episodes such as “Homer at the Bat,” “Whacking Day,” “Bart Gets an Elephant,” “Homer the Great,” “You Only Move Twice,” and “Homer’s Enemy,” some of which would go on to define the legacy of The Simpsons and stretch what the show could be in terms of story and humor. And while TV is a collaborative medium, Swartzwelder’s scripts are often the least rewritten of any writer contributing to the show (per The New York Times).

Despite a legendary status among writers and an Emmy win, Swartzwelder retained an air of mystery, which only sparked rumors. An immensely private person, Swartzwelder is often labeled a recluse, with details about him primarily revealed by other Simpsons writers on DVD commentaries. Swartzwelder worked from home long before any global pandemic, reportedly bought a booth from his favorite diner to have installed in his home as a place to right, and always refused to give interviews or participate in DVD commentaries himself. Unlike other writers, Swartzwelder never went on to run the show or create a show himself. He wrote a Western pilot in 1994, Pistol Pete, that was shot but never picked up for series, but after that, he returned to The Simpsons until 2003, returning to co-write The Simpsons Movie released in 2007.

Swartzwelder’s privacy and dedication to The Simpsons lead fans to speculate that Swartzwelder wasn’t even real. The belief among fans, posited by Al Jean on the DVD commentary for season 4’s “The Front,” that Swartzwelder was just a fake name used by the writing staff for episodes they didn’t want credit on, or too many writers collaborated on to credit just one. This theory is aided by references to Swartzwelder in the show itself, including a book read by Bart and Lisa, “How to Get Rich Writing Cartoons,” supposedly penned by John Swartzwelder. To this day, only one picture of him is online, not unlike another famed recluse, filmmaker Terrance Malick. But as the years have gone on, the legend has grown more clear.

Who Is John Swartzwelder Really?

By all accounts, Swartzwelder is a pretty regular guy with some quirks. In his book Springfield Confidential, Mike Reiss describes Swartzwelder as a “friendly man who will chat endlessly about guy stuff like baseball and old westerns” and that Swartzwelder “reminds you of one of your father’s friends.” But that he would also state things with authority that were either patently untrue or completely absurd (Riess cites that Swartzwelder once declared Abraham Lincoln “an asshole” and that Lorne Greene (star of Bonanza) “invented rap music.”) Riess goes on to say Jennifer Crittenden, who wrote for Seinfeld after The Simpsons, used to pitch things Swartzwelder said as potential lines for Kramer, but the Seinfeld writers said they were too crazy.

In 2021, Swartzwelder gave the only interview of his career in to the New Yorker and revealed much of his backstory. Before writing for The Simpsons, Swartzwelder worked in advertising but aspired to be a comedy writer in the vein of Robert Benchley, S.J. Perelman, and Steve Allen. He made the transition to TV because “the TV business sounded like more fun to me,” and got his first writing job on Saturday Night Live after making an impression on writer Jim Downey submitting jokes by mail to Late Night with David Letterman (Swartzwelder’s mail stood out because he wrote “Free Jokes Inside!” on the outside of the envelope.) Swartzwelder wrote on SNL for one year (1985-86) before moving on to a few failed sitcoms, one of which didn’t even make it to the air, but it was at SNL Swartzwelder met George Meyer, who later asked him to contribute to an independent comedy magazine Army Man. One of the creators of The Simpsons, Sam Simon, was a fan of Army Man and recruited Meyer, Swartzwelder, and John Vititi to be part of the initial staff for The Simpsons’ first season.

Swartzwelder is Comfortable With His Legacy

In the aforementioned New Yorker interview, Swartzwelder demystified some of the stories surrounding him. The rumor he stopped coming into the office because of anti-smoking policies he dispelled, claiming he was just getting old and wanted to work from home. He didn’t have the booth from his favorite diner, just a diner booth to have installed in his home (and then a second one in another part of his home). He also claims his scripts are less rewritten because he “always reacted with great dismay, rage, and even horror every time one of my jokes was cut. The other writers were more grown up about it when their jokes were cut. And see what it got them.”

As to the reverence he has received, Swartzwelder is grateful and appreciative of the praise but is more happy with how The Simpsons got audiences to pay attention to people writing the shows, not just the actors in them. While not huge celebrities, nowadays, people seem familiar with names like Shonda Rhimes, Aaron Sorkin, and Vince Gilligan, and last week the internet was all abuzz about Issa López and Nic Pizzolatto. Swartzwelder went on to say, “Now a whole generation of viewers not only knows about writers, they’re wondering what we’re really like in real life. And they want to know what we’re thinking,” (per The New Yorker).

Swartzwelder Still Keeps Making Jokes

After his tenure on The Simpsons, Swartzwelder turned to writing novels. His novels, all under 200 pages, mostly follow the exploits of incompetent detective Frank Burly on journeys that take him across time, space, and into (and out of) the afterlife. Swartzwelder publishes the books himself and layers them with joke after joke and insanely convoluted stories that make them impossible to predict. His books have brought him out of the shadows a little bit as well,​​​​​​​ with Swartzwelder’s account on X (formerly known as Twitter) which he uses to promote his work, which recently included claiming credit for inventing artificial intelligence.

Though he definitively refused to participate in Simpsons DVD commentaries, there is one where his voice can be heard. On the commentary for the season 9 episode, “The Cartridge Family” (where Homer buys a gun), Mike Scullycalled him live during the recording. After a pleasant chat, the writers let Swartzwelder off the hook (he was apparently cooking a steak), but not before Swartzwelder could create speculation around his appearance. Before hanging up, Swartzwelder says, “Too bad this isn’t really John Swartzwelder.” This is probably just a joke, but by that line of thinking one could say this article was actually written by John Swartzwelder… (It wasn’t. If it had been, it would have been a lot funnier. But then again, wouldn’t that be the kind of thing John Swartzwelder might say to throw the reader off?)

The Simpsons is streaming in its entirety on Disney+ and John Swartzwelder’s books can be bought exclusively on Amazon.

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