This Is What Makes ‘Past Lives’ Different From Other Love Triangles

The Big Picture

• Past Lives explores a complex love triangle without creating a villain and hero, humanizing both male characters and challenging audience biases.
• The film showcases positive masculinity through Arthur’s empathy and maturity, subverting the typical romantic stereotype.
• Nora and Arthur’s relationship is depicted as equally endearing and significant as the reconnecting childhood friends, highlighting the importance of commitment and alignment in love.

The opening scene of the Oscar-nominated film Past Lives engages the audience from the start with a probing question: “Who do you think they are to each other?” An Asian man and woman are engrossed in conversation, while a white man observes from the sidelines with an air of awkwardness, prompting speculation about their relationship. Are they lovers, friends, or colleagues? The scene climaxes as the woman locks eyes with the camera, breaking the fourth wall and leaving no room for ambiguity — she is at the center of this enigmatic dynamic. But who these characters are as individuals, and what they mean to each other is what the story really is about.

Past Lives tells the story of two childhood friends, Nora (Greta Lee) and Hae Sung (Teo Yoo) who are separated after Nora’s family emigrates from South Korea to Canada. Reunited after 24 years, they grapple with the complexities of love and destiny. Although this might sound like a second-chance romance, the main characters don’t get to ride together into the sunset, as Nora is married to Arthur (John Magaro), an American man. Instead of being portrayed as the “evil white husband” standing in the way of true love, director Celine Song decides to subvert this typical romantic stereotype. Arthur’s remarkable empathy and maturity make him a character impossible to dislike.

‘Past Lives’ Arthur Is the Epitome of Positive Masculinity

Love triangles have been used as a storytelling device in many great films. However, this trope can become stale if it falls prey to repetitive patterns, like creating a villain and a hero for the story. In Past Lives, both men are humanized, devoid of ulterior motives or hidden agendas, making it challenging for the audience to take sides. There is no competitive spirit between Arthur and Hae Sung. The actors were kept apart during the shooting until the moment their characters meet face to face, so instead of giving each other the cold shoulder or being domineering, John Magaro and Teo Yoo gift the audience a beautifully honest scene of Arthur welcoming Hae Sung as he recognizes the different version of Nora he represents. Despite feeling insecure and jealous, Arthur knows how to manage these emotions. The physicality of the performances in Past Lives also introduces a non-verbal vulnerability to the story. Arthur’s subtle displays of affection and care for Nora amidst emotional turmoil are a refreshing take on how to handle conflict in a romance movie.

The bedroom scene with Nora and Arthur, in which they discuss Hae Sung’s visit and what it could mean for their relationship, provides a metatextual moment. Arthur recognizes he can’t compete with the second-chance romance seemingly unfolding before his eyes, and instead of asserting control or possessiveness, he acknowledges his feelings and expresses his concerns, choosing to trust Nora and allowing her to explore her relationship with Hae Sung. The evolving dynamic among these three characters as they try to understand each other and navigate a conflicting situation with empathy is what makes Celine Song’s feature directorial debut one of the best movies of 2023.

John Magaro Is the Perfect Arthur for ‘Past Lives’

Past Lives is a semi-biographical story based on a personal experience of Celine Song. For John Magaro, who is married in real life to a Korean American woman, playing Arthur was therapeutic. “I’ve been saying it’s almost like getting paid to go to therapy, especially that scene in the bedroom. There’s verisimilitude in that dialogue, but it is more poetic than the words I could ever put together if I was trying to express that to my partner.” The storytelling and portrayal of Arthur are subtly infused with personal details that intricately shape the character’s thoughts and actions. The cultural divide, along with Arthur’s persistent efforts to overcome it and grow closer to Nora, is a recurring theme throughout the film. John Magaro’s portrayal of Arthur in Past Lives is distinctly individual, revealing a nuanced connection between his personal experiences and the character he brings to life. While Arthur acknowledges there are aspects of Nora’s life and past beyond his reach, he yearns for a deeper understanding of her and her cultural roots.

When Arthur makes his heartfelt confession of his doubts and insecurities, it encapsulates all the levels of intimacy and trust between the married couple. The beautiful dialogue features one of the best quotes of the year: “You make my life so much bigger, and I’m wondering if I do the same thing for you.” Yet, his true magnanimity shines in the final scene as he holds his crying wife after she parts with Hae Sung for good. This open display of support during a time of grief, not only for the relationship she has lost but for the piece of herself she is leaving behind, resonates with the audience, evoking profound sympathy for him in a deeply human way. Magaro figuratively exposes himself for the role of Arthur, delivering a touching, vulnerable performance that elevates Past Lives from a typical love triangle to a tale of three fully developed, complex characters that don’t feel vapid or superficial.

Nora and Arthur Met at the Right Time

If Past Lives was the story of two friends who reconnect after many years to eventually fall in love, it would be no different from Richard Linklater’s Before trilogy. What makes Past Lives unique is Nora’s commitment to herself and the life she has built with Arthur. Although it may not sound as romantic as the enduring connection between the two leads, Arthur and Nora’s story is equally endearing. Because they both attended the same retreat at the same time, they were able to meet and discover how much they had in common, becoming a perfect example of two people whose lives align and who commit to making their relationship work.

Near the end of the film, the audience finds itself again at the bar from the opening scene, now armed with answers to the original question. Nora and Hae Sung are talking in Korean, while Arthur sits at the side, unable to understand. However, the leads are always aware of his presence and acknowledge the role he plays there. Hae Sung loved Nora for her ambition and determination, which eventually led her away from their homeland and him. However, this journey led her to pursue her dreams and find a connection with Arthur. Past Lives masterfully weaves a tapestry of love, identity, and fate, painting a poignant portrait of how these characters navigate their pasts and their present, leaving a lasting imprint on the heart and making it one of the best romance movies of 2023.

Past Lives is available to rent on Prime Video in the U.S.

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